Rose is a darling. She is sweet, helpful and bright. She is also moody, manipulative and desperately cantankerous considering the hormone tidal wave is still some way off. She is also in a spot of difficulty in school and I need to consider some stuff. Consider it with me if you please, I need an objective eye.
In the last two months, two of Rose's best friends have moved away due to family work commitments. Since then she has been isolated in school from other girls in her year. I think this is due to groups having been formed already. Rose's group of three has been disbanded and only she is left. So she has taken to playing with girls a year younger than herself. Today she told me that some of the girls in her school circled round her , taunting her that she was out of the game that they were playing. Rose does not handle teasing at all well and promptly flew off the handle, shouting and crying and making a bad situation even worse. There was no hitting but apparently things got very loud.
I do not want to overreact and have not mentioned this to anyone yet. I was bullied only once in school and it was in a very different situation, but I remember watching a classmate go through years of social ostracism in much the same manner that Rose is experiencing now.
Mary (not her real name) brought it on herself to an extent - she was a tattletale and not much fun to be around... but there was also the element of the pack instinct. It was not done to be friends with Mary so we kept her out and when I look with adult eyes at our behaviour towards her, it was cruel and must have caused her great pain.
So there are two angles to this...
Either Rose is a pain in the backside to the other kids and now she is experiencing the consequences
Or the pack has found a weak pup and is turning on it.
What ever it is I cannot just ignore this. That is what Mary's mother did, thinking that it was just the way kids were. Well, that may be, but it doesn't make it right. I need to do something but I don't know what to do. Help me please. I need advice.
In the last two months, two of Rose's best friends have moved away due to family work commitments. Since then she has been isolated in school from other girls in her year. I think this is due to groups having been formed already. Rose's group of three has been disbanded and only she is left. So she has taken to playing with girls a year younger than herself. Today she told me that some of the girls in her school circled round her , taunting her that she was out of the game that they were playing. Rose does not handle teasing at all well and promptly flew off the handle, shouting and crying and making a bad situation even worse. There was no hitting but apparently things got very loud.
I do not want to overreact and have not mentioned this to anyone yet. I was bullied only once in school and it was in a very different situation, but I remember watching a classmate go through years of social ostracism in much the same manner that Rose is experiencing now.
Mary (not her real name) brought it on herself to an extent - she was a tattletale and not much fun to be around... but there was also the element of the pack instinct. It was not done to be friends with Mary so we kept her out and when I look with adult eyes at our behaviour towards her, it was cruel and must have caused her great pain.
So there are two angles to this...
Either Rose is a pain in the backside to the other kids and now she is experiencing the consequences
Or the pack has found a weak pup and is turning on it.
What ever it is I cannot just ignore this. That is what Mary's mother did, thinking that it was just the way kids were. Well, that may be, but it doesn't make it right. I need to do something but I don't know what to do. Help me please. I need advice.
7 comments:
I'm sorry, I wish I had some advice.......go talk to the principle, that's what my Mom always did, but I hated that.......see....no help......
Hey crafty lady
The joys of having kids, you want to get in there and sort it out for her and make it all better, that's what mothers do! The cherries have got each other and that counts for a lot. I have no idea what to suggest but I would certainly ask the school to keep and eye on her and report back at the end of the week. Maybe invite some kids on the "outer edge" up for tea or something so she can get to know them better and maybe form frienships
sion she maybe a pup, but she as a bark. good thing. will pray for her anyou and mr v. love poddy.
Poor Rose. A new school perhaps?
To be honest when ever I have gone to the school with a problem they always say that they will monitor the situation and then nothing changes...
I have thought about a new school but it seems such a drastic step, but I am worried enough to make it happen if this is not sorted.
Thanks for the comments chaps, I appreciate it :)
Oh and Cyril your comment, though unpublishable, was much appreciated. I love you too hunny :)x
You might consider talking at length to the teacher. I find it is best to go in with the problem and ask the teacher for advice. Don't ask the teacher to fix the situation -- she can't.
But she might have ideas on how you can help Rose to deal with what is going on. I have found teachers to be v. helpful in giving me advice on what to do at home to change/ameliorate the situation at school.
You might also try reading "A good friend is hard to find" I forget the author and my copy is out on loan to another mom. It really helped when my son was going through a friendless/hopeless/picked on stage. We also role-played with him how to handle teasing and how to join others in play. He is now 15 with a whole load of friends. This experience while painful has also helped in his development of empathy.
Last year he roomed with a v. strange kid (turned out he was autistic) at a summer program. I am proud to say that N. made sure his roommate was included in most group activities bc. as he explained, "I know how painful it is to be the left out one."
Good luck....
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