Rainbows can't compare
to the breathless, vivid beauty
that I see in you.
I know, I know - eight syllables in the second line. But I like the line more than I care about sticking to the rules.
For more visions check out ODB
Picture credit: Inspirational rainbows. R Brown.
For more visions check out ODB
Picture credit: Inspirational rainbows. R Brown.
11 comments:
rules my dear,, are made to be broken... your vision was more powerful than the rules... bravo!!!!!
bah...rules! This is a beauty you wouldnt want to hide...to me art makes it possible to break rules and boundaries...I loved your rainbow. Hope you are well Sian, been awhile since I visited. Things have been too hectic..so been posting but not reading. Hope to rectify that soon.
I totally agree! Lovely words!
Beautiful thought. Thanks for this at the end of a long day!
Writing in Faith
Ah, sometimes a vision has to break a rule or two to make in fully into manifestation. I've even read that in classic Japanese haiku they occasionally fudged with a line's word count. :-)
the 5-7-5 rule for haiku isn't as strict as so many people seem to think it is, its there as a guide not a straitjacket, so you're fine... A lot of English language haiku don't use 5-7-5.
the syllabic count is irrelevant in Western language haiku - this probably isn't a good example of haiku not because it might have 18 syllables but because it reads like a single sentence without the tension the best haiku include.
Nonetheless this is a great statement, a lovely and true thought - not everything has to be a haiku.
I agree with ul -we shouldn't stick slavishly to the rules, especially as they were devised for Japanese which is a very different language. The long second line goes with the pouring out of emotion and then there's the lovely flip line at the end.
I like it that way too!
rules should never silence your voice! & this beauty had to be shared
so very beautiful...i enjoyed your note...i was sweating it b/c i only had 16 syllables...**laughing**
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